Kevin Kilbane won the nation's hearts in Fergie time this evening, with his flair for the dramatic keeping he and skate partner Brianne in Dancing on Ice after the skate-off.
Kilbane is finding the competition so easy that he felt the need to trick the British public into voting him into the bottom two, just so that he can get more match sharpness on the ice.
Real credit to the lad, and a reminder that the British public truly cannot be trusted with any sort of democratic vote. This is why they can't have nice things.
Canny as he is, Kilbane knew that in these uncertain days, love is needed more now than ever. And love these lads have in spades. If that meant getting a few more minutes in the legs while demonstrating your undying passion for another human, all the better.
Dancing on Ice
Last week was a first outing of solidity; shaking off the rust of pre-season and getting the job done in a business-like fashion.
This week was a truly match-fit performance, in sync with his team-mate and producing a performance of real grace and assurance on a tough surface.
Dressed in a tuxedo and tails that would be the envy of butlers everywhere, his composure shone through today and he is reaping the rewards.
In the interests of drama, we will focus on their second performance, in no way because this writer missed their first performance due to Liverpool v Manchester United.
— Dancing on Ice (@dancingonice) January 19, 2020
Turning out for the skate-off in black trousers and shirt hinted at a man who was all business. But the shirt's sparkles said 'hey, we might have to do business here, but that doesn't mean we can't have a bit of bloody fun'.
It was difficult to see the television with everyone in the room swooning in awe of Kilbane's majestic, ice-based prowess. But what we could see in almost strobe-light fashion was a man in total control of his own destiny, gliding atop the ice with the deftness of a woodland nymph.
The routine was conducted with loving looks and athletic grace. A real show-stopper.
Even though the British public came close once again to disgracing itself, the judges acted as a kind of ice-based Supreme Court to keep them from committing another act of hari-kiri.
Judge Ashley Banjo said while there was 'not technically much between' Kilbane and his rival for dominion on the ice, he would have to vote for Kevin and Brianne.
Credit to Banjo; he had obviously been cowed by Kilbane's dominance, majesty and raw magnetism, but tried to save the blushes of Kilbane's rival with his outright lie. A touch of class.
However, enemy of the people™ John Barrowman struck out at Kilbane once again, voting for Lucrezia in the final.
Barrowman is conducting one of the most calculated and brutal vendettas against a footballer since various Spanish defenders looked to separate Maradona from his ankle ligaments.
No doubt Kilbane will respond in the same way as Maradona, turning in world-class performance week after week until gaining the grudging respect of a bested rival.
Definitely in charge today Kevin. Great dance
— Farat Johnson (@FaratJohnson) January 19, 2020
Torvill and Dean restored sanity, crediting Kilbane as the stronger and more confident skater.
Kilbane lives to fight another day. Somehow, somewhere John Barrowman returns to the shadows to plot the next stage of this calculated, wicked agenda.